Welcome, brave patron, to a world of wonder...
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MOUNTWEAZEL: Stationed in the Trap Street offices, Mountweazel leads the Rum and Uncanny Incidents Team. Released from his poly-plasteen security room every Thursday, he habitually spends an hour and three minutes a day carving craven images into Victorian writing desks while whistling at badgers. Educated at the University of Agloe, he found fame briefly in "Dogs of Norway" , before returning to his native shack row in Monster Christ, Northumberland. He fears the Disquiet Muses who live in his bathroom cabinet. ORWELL: Ophelia Orwell is a Partner at Mountweasel, Orwell & Goode and head of the Environmental & Bovine Rights teams. She has won landmark victories against major public utilities and government bodies and is the current Guinness Book of Records holder for the word’s longest udder squirt. A quarter Mursi, Ethiopian, Ophelia is putting back into sub sahara Africa, where she is a renowned civil disobedience advocate, encouraging female animals continent wide to stand behind malevolent male leaders while other animals push them over. GOODE: An alumni of The University of BuffaloWings, Arizona, Lucien Goode is considered something of an authority in the field of Criminal Negligence. He took the bar in 1996 and has been there ever since, drinking scrounged thimbles of brandy through a bendy straw. He spends his days regaling all-comers with tales of all the things he could have done if he’d paid more attention. Hobbies include crunching on crickets, pretending to be what he is not, and plotting acts of quiet evil. |